work

ya our house is a disaster. the dog has not yet gotten out of the puppy chew stage neither has jax or apparently owen. molly and mikaydi plot ploy and plan each day for optimal destruction and they are quite talented by the way. frans takes after his father and drops his pile of stuff were ever he may and leaves it for another day. haylee is practicing that teenager thing and insists on keeping her room bugler Prof by making it look as if she has already been robed and poor jenny trying to keep up with us all. now let me mention that me and Jenny's week has been insane with both of us working and scout pies to make. the inmates have been running the asylum. guess what they are not very good at it i tend to think it is bad parenting but jenny just sais its because there my children which ""your right dear. anyway the other day after calmly asking for clean rooms for the millionth time molly came out and exclaimed I'm done daddy come and see. i think wow its a miracle molly is normally the most resistant to any thing work. well i proceed enthusiastically excited to see the mighty change and open the door to a mountain of crap no that's not quite right more like two mountains of stuff with a small valley which meandered searingly into the distance stunned silent i hear the faint whisperings of an angle saying look daddy i made a path.

were am i

you ever wake up then notice your brain laying next to you in bed. welcome to my week so much to do and my brain decides its time for a nap. it took me three days to realise i was a zombie. it hit me in the most inopportune time i was trying to organise a pie assembly line and pow i realised all my thoughts muffled by a misplaced pillow very disorienting. i am finding it quite hard to get my brain back into my head not to mention hooked up right.

is it monday or friday

i sit and type thinking and wondering "were is my wife". wait what day is it, Tuesday no she would be at work at the library so that rules out Thursday as well. Monday? no because the boys would be at wrestling and there not they are camping in there bed room. its defiantly not Wednesday because i have scouts but here i sit wondering. Friday is defiantly out of the question because she would be here its the only time i get to see her lately. i don't even know what happens on Saturday all i know is i work she works i have no idea what the kids do and then Sundays are the biggest whirlwind of them all. i still don't know what day it is.

in thought of having no thoughts i write just to write why, it relaxes me it is a therapeutic brain release a brain dump if you will. what has my brain to dump this evening? not much my brain is pretty empty. i cant find any thing funny i cant find anything serious just a mumble jumble of interlocking words which if typed in any other order could have been funny or even intelligent but alas it is what it is and that is not much.

when the cats away

in my hast to get to Church on time and the fact that jenny was not home lead to me allowing frans to make it to church in pants that looked like he had just gutted a deer. owen tried to worn me and my response was he either wares the pants he has on or he is going in his underwear. i think it is a good thing that the kids believe me when i say some thing but good grief. i must add that i had spent 30 minuets trying to get frans in pants in the first place. in reference to me privies blog clothing optional i need to mention that as i drove by the house wail working Saturday a streak of milky wight flesh flashed in the corner of my eye and drew my attention to the fact i had a child outside scantily clad. i must also mention jenny was away at a wedding and had the three youngest culprits with her so the nude dude was one of my older children ill let you guess which one i still haven't gotten to the bottom of the story perhaps I'm better off not knowing.

just passing some knowledg

i discovered and felt i should immediately share that strawberry containers do not make a good food conveyance device. it so happened that i at 5 am put my chilled semi solid soup in a strawberry container thinking yes just the right size. well by lunch i discovered strawberry containers are perforated with holes so strawberries can breath. well just the chunks of my soup survived the straining and my wallet caught the rest. so don't put soup in strawberry containers and soup soaked wallets taste like soup

it aways hapens to me

i was reminded today what a kerfuffle any shopping trip is for me. i was taken back to the day i simply ordered two egg mcmuffin sandwiches and received and paid for eight sandwiches of all varieties and only discovered said cornucopia of McDonald delights ten miles down the road. now if you know me you know i considered this a blessing. usually I'm not so lucky i normally end up with a lack of fries which in and of itself is a travesty or i spend a great deal of time fixing the situation. shopping at any store is the same. i once bought one water container and thought as i walked out the door " five hundred dollars that don't seem right" well the store assistant proceeded to load five water containers on my trailer yes don't ask me how that got mixed up. well recently i went to the parts store to get pipes and stuff and walked out in a hurry not looking at the receipt. well some time later i discovered an extra part and when i look at the receipt to check i noticed the tax for 50 dollars in parts was 391.00 dollars holy crap i figured Mr Obama's new tax plan was going to be bad but yikes a 400% sales tax increase. so the moral of this story is if you want it done right don't send me.

just saying

perhaps there is nothing wrong with having two left feet if you can only find two left shoes

is this my kid

kids now there is a topic you can write about. owen for instance. dad said "go clean the yard" owen replies "can i clean the dog poop off the lawn" now who's kid is this? it would first appear that he is spawned from some grate go getter a real winner guess again it is me, mike the last to get anything done and my idea for cleaning up the mess is a mulch mower (which by the way struggles with larger items such as cardboard boxes or left out toys). so out he goes to pike up the doo doo i gaze stealthily out the window just to see what he is really doing and interesting enough he is cleaning up the mess. i watch thinking maybe i can learn something and i did. i realise dog poo stinks thus the reluctance in cleaning it up but owen solved this by wrapping a kerchief around his nose. hay whatever works

they or thay hay or hey any of eny WHAT EVER!!

lets clear the air about spelling. I can't, i will never be able to, nore do i care to try to improve. i have far to many more important things on my plate to worry about spelling. hay i have tried i even took a special totering class to help. maybe if i inform you i spell phonically that would help. enyhoo its pretty simple if its there, their ,thair, therr, or ther it means which ever one fits corectly yes it may take some work on your part but all relationships wither a face to face or a blog to blog require some effort to be a lasting one. so if by chance i verbally offend you in some way i do apologise and good luck deciphering the dribble which spews from my brain.

P.S. yes i use spell check but once again there their etc like i know which is witch.

P.P.S. there or their were 28 misspelled words in this paragraph befor spell check i narrowed it down to 8 or 9

woops

he slept soundly. the 16 hour shift at work he had just finished had worn him completely out. he only had 3 hours in which to catch a nap and return to work for 10 more hours. he was suddenly jarred awake by his shrieking wife and screaming younger children. perhaps bringing a live turtle home and leaving him in the pantry was a bad idea.

how dose he know!!

let me preface this thought with some general background. i work 10 hour days, long days of concrete, sand blasting, shoveling you know the hard tiring stuff. now jenny on the other hand has the hard job (hello molly and mikaydi) home schooling haylee, chasing jax ,etc all day long. then there scouts, wrestling ,work at the library, etc. needless to say this makes the quiet time before bed one of the most important times in our lives.
so imagine your self freshly showered you just slipped into you favorite PJ's or not all the kids have been asleep for some time. there is your bed fresh flanal sheets fluffed pillows your favorite blanky and a electric blanket placed perfectly at your feet then it happens.
jax has super power i swear. he has this sixth sense that wakes him up out of the deepest of sleeps. ironically this only occurs about 15 minuets after your head hits those fluffy pillows. I'm series its not triggered wail the loud tv is on or wail me or jenny are having a deep philosophical debate but only just as you hit that i could be asleep in just a few minuets stage. the most annoying thing about jax's supper power is after the initial putting him back to sleep he dose grate until you get comfortable again. both me and jenny are in agreement this is annoying. i never said all super powers were good

lets consider

lets consider the intricacies of the sounds of words. consider corn. to produce the sound corn you begin with a minnie lugie a shocked oh and a nasal grunt. the very formation of the word is interesting to me. its almost fun to say corn. another word i particular enjoy is the word acquiesce. not only is it fun to say it is also has a cool definition. now obsequious has that same qu sound (if some one were to see you making the qu sound they would think you were puckering for a kiss) and if you know its definition its fun to use on some one. now interesting enough there are three words that apply to the three types of kisses. the peach, a semi stiff kiss you may give your mom on the cheek. the prune, a full on pucker kiss sweet but sophisticated. and last the alfalfa as you say the word alfalfa the tongue is quite active lending to the imagination the possible implications. the most interesting thing about this blog is i have just made you say corn, aquiesce, obsequious, peach, prune and alfalfa

date night (also see jennys blog)

I like to watch people. on this particular occasion i observed the slob. a sweet waring, dirty shirted, kmart special shoed, basement dwelling, gamer, who's presences at this restaurant could only be accredited to his winning of a radio promotion. the yuppie couple who are posers and really have moderate jobs and live at home because their clothing expenses are so high this meal will go on the credit card. the exhibitionists who's piercings and tattoos rival those of bullet riddled gang signs. (and why is it that such people give you the stink eye when you stare in disbelief is not the point of body modification to stand out just saying) the pleasant couple with children who decided a night out was in need. the sweet elderly couple with several grand children and years of joy to share. then the grumpy old people who scoff children and should really never go out and should receive meals on wheels just to help with there general disgust of anything loud, spicy, bright. happy or nice
in this setting we enter the red lobster a spot rarely frequented by us and only possible by the generous gift of saints. as we sit i notice the before mentioned individuals scattered around our table. the evening proceeded as fallows. jax a normally enjoyable child i think sensed the opportunity to be the center of attention. i for one am not comfortable in such a situation but apparently jax has no qualms. he began with the noise the shrieks and grones, yips, and yelps ,the yums ,yawhos, bellers, and cries none of which are strange for jax and the volume at which he reached wasn't strange perhaps it was the timing. anyhow he reached such a fevered pitch even the slob wail pounding back his lobster took notice. i don't think i need to tell you the grones and wailing and gnashing of teeth the grumpy old people were spewing. truthfully is it bad of me to enjoy anoing the social elite. the highlight t of the evening is when wail wondering why our cute loud son was gnawing with vigor at the edge of the table i rubeb my hand under the edge to discover that jax with his two lower teeth was working on dislodging the old chewing gum that was so stealthily stuck there. at this discovery and with my acclamations the happy people laughed and the anoing people gagged and all were happy except jax who after much work didn't get his full reword.

clothing optional

i parent, badly but parent, i do. i have six kids or should i say they have me. in life as a parent i am privy to the special times only a parent will experience. now I'm not ripping on those with no kids but dealing with dog poo is not as bad as child poo just trust me on that one. any way i digress. a nifty and fun thing i find as a parent is the clothing optional stage of life. yes we have all been through it but don't remember because we were three. i will admit i don't remember mooning the missionaries as a child but if genetics plays a role i surely did. i find myself stunned when at 20 degrees with snow on the ground i have found my cute daughter playing in the back yard wearing only undies and snow boots (i blame jenny for the sense to put on snow boots) i also find it odd that going to a wrestling practice in only undies (she concealed her lack of clothing under a coat) is OK i dint teach this I'm pretty sure jenny is not in favor of streaking so were dose it come from. it could be she is taking a look at her parents and reasoning with herself 'if that is what I'm going to look like in 20 years i better flaunt it now ' but most likely she just don't care which in hind sight is probably a good place to be so if by chance you see some one exhibiting more skin than need be don't criticize or judge them just think they probably just don't care

the phases of life

Allow me to delve in the disgusting to dance along the lines of the putrid. It has abruptly came to my attention that our youngest child has entered a new phase of life. He has graduated from the black sludge of birth to the explosive experiences associated with a new born. Yes he has entered the all to fun vacuum stage. How do i know he has entered the before mentioned phase of life well; by the prizes i have found in his dipper i have found amongst the disgust of baby wast marbles ,popcorn seeds ,hair and small Barby shoes to mention a few. Although the shock this phase of life may bring to parents one must be positive: at least he is doing his part to help with the house work