personal space

I have been spending a great deal of time thinking about astrophysics and the theory of everything. On a recent winter scout outing i came to the sudden and startling realisation that i have a personal space bubble. i discovered this as a scout unintentionally invaded my personal space bubble as he removed his sock and placed his withered foot in between the front seat on our return journey. it became apparent that not only do i have a personal space bubble but that space bubble can be fogged. to perhaps further enlighten you in this fogging i quote a scout who said" i like scout camps because you don't have to worry about things like hugging" although i had already learned this fact to hear it from the very offender was stunning and to emphasis his statement the wind shifted just so leaving me with an indelible impression that still lingers. no sooner did i learn i had a personal space bubble i found a way to use it to my advantage. i refer to it as a defense mechanism. I'm not a real touchy feely kind of guy and i discovered that if i fog my own personal space bubble people will keep there distance. i also discovered some are able to fog what would appear to be a enormous space bubble so completely it interferes with others space bubbles including animals like bears. all in all this new discovery may just be the answer to everything or at least some questions anyway.

melting pott?

Preface; This is the second time in the last three months I have felt out of place, a redneck in a gay bar if you will. Don't get me wrong I have never been in a gay bar but I have seen one on tv so I am informed. To me, a more rustic individual the mentioning of a melting pott stirres up many visions in my head and several of them end badly for instance once I cooked mac and cheese and an hour later I had a melting pot or the remains of a melted pot and the smell was horrid, aluminum and plastic are definitely not complimentary. There was that one time when I warned jenny not to enter the bathroom due to a posible melting of the pott but I degress. I won't go into detail at this time on the rather trouble some drive we went through to get to this dinnery, instead I will in my expertice as a student of cullinary delites as leurned on the food network channel share with you my thoughts. For all of you who don't know the melting pot is a restaurant that serves fondue and for the red neck, fondue is when you impail your food with a stick and dip it in hot cheese, broth, or chocolate. Using your fingers is a bad idea and no it's
not easy cheese out of a can.

Its time to order I gratutiously accept the well made menu with a certain anticipation. I was hungry very hungry the days events had prevented me from ingesting any thing of substance and the smells wafting our direction were madning. i glanced the menu and it leered back almost angrily. i was confused how complicated could it be im not stupid i figured the value meals were out but come on i just want a meal. realising i was way over my head i alowed jenny who had experiences this sort of thing before to order our food. we began with cheese yes the melted heavenly goo that screams eat me with crackers vegies bread and apples? what ever-- i ll give it a try. i must say i was not dissappointed it was fantastic there was something primitive in stabbing each morsal and swirrling melted cow on it. we got two types of cheese spinch something or other and a traditional swiss i guess i need to study swiss traditions more cause that cheese had a funk to it that would drive a troll from under a train bridge but i ate it just figureing it must just be my ignorance at fine dinning.

secont course was a salad now i have done salads before and figured i couldnt go wrong and i did'nt it was jenny's falt she ordered it. she got some kind of an alpine salad with a vinagerette on it now i have always wanted to try a vinagerette cause on tv that seems to spark the intrest of the judges on "chopped" my first bite bite back yoasers once my eyes quit watering and my vision came back i glanced around at the smiles and delites expressed on my dinning companions faces questioning there sanity but fearing ridicule i continued with this fine dinning experience i must admitt the vinagerette grew on me and after the third bite i thought it rather good unfortunatly three bites is all there was

enough with the small stuff bring me the meal. on came our entree' first they bring a broath to warm up and its steam begins to rise encompansing us with its rich aroma unfortionatly i have also been encompased by that same aroma after finding a wet diaper a week after it had backed in a hot car. one again i glance around and all i can figure is none of my companions had ever found a week old diaper. on the up side i had never tasted a week old diaper so the smell didnt put me off. so they bring out a plate of meat and a bowl of veggies now were talking they were all raw which i am fine with i like my meat alot rare but i was disappointed in the fact that after sticking it on a stick you stuck it in the diaper water to cook and cooking takes time. do i need to mention this is about an hour into a meal i had been waiting for all day my stomach was a growling and then it started to flat out yell after i began sticking one bite of food in it evey 2 to 3 minuets. i just about starved while eating in my head i was calculating the amount of calories i was burnning verses the calories i was ingesting and it wasn't fat enough. finally after a great deal of work and due to all my companions being full i was able with the help of all get enough food infront of me to make me feel like i was eating. oh ya the food was rather good only adding to my frustation in the slow delivery.

now came the desert wow now that is some good eats i cant complain at all about the sweet morsils dipped in chocolate of various tates and consistancies. i get a tear in my eye just thinking about it not of its goodness it becouse that last marshellow covered in oreos dipped melted chocolate burnt my lip so bad that if screaming like a little girl was an option i would of.

It's rather annoying

Its a shrieking cat sliding down a twenty foot tall chalk bored at a high rate of speed amplified to the volume of a jet at take off. There is no choice in the matter you have to leave or you will go deaf. You know how you got like 5 minuets in 40 degree water before you die well I give you 5 minuets with a hotel fire alarm going off before you go deaf. They say stay calm but then they turn on a shrieking flashing strobe light that screams PANIC!!!. There is no escaping the noise it follows you screaming down the hall then the stairs all the way out to the car I can't even imagine how annoying the fire alarm would of been.